Bedtime Bartering

Along the same lines as M's negotiations for more TV-time, we also have disagreements about her bed preference of late. Previously, we had few problems with her bedtime routine, but lately she has only been able to fall asleep in our bed. My husband moves her to her own bed once she falls asleep, but she often comes back halfway through the night.

We were getting frustrated with the constant companion, and began to push her to fall asleep in her own bed. I explained to M that "Daddy doesn't sleep well when you come into the bed and kick him in the back."

Suddenly she began to cry hysterically and said profoundly "I miss my Daddy when I sleep in my bed." We originally thought her problem stemmed from a growing fear of the dark, but M revealed the true cause. It turns out she helps him prepare his lunch each morning, but if she is not awake yet, she misses out on this opportunity to help dad. By sleeping in our bed, it ensures that she stirs awake when he arises.

My heart instantly melted and I cried right along with her. She stayed in our bed that night.

She must have known how this short phrase affected me, because ever since then, if we hint at falling asleep in her big-girl bed, M responds with "but I miss my Daddy" However, in this case, it is not a sincere plea for understanding, but rather a manipulative whine. My husband and I have discussed it and decided its not worth arguing about any more. It's a phase and can only last so long: she won't want anything to do with us by the time she is a teenager, so we better enjoy this while it lasts!

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